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20 May

Perfection: The Silent Dream Snatcher


Yes, I’ve said it. Perfection: The Silent Dream Snatcher!


Moments prior to almost blowing off what transpired into an adventurous evening downtown Chicago with Jala (my daughter) because of frustrations with everything; I pulled it together at the last-minute.  About a month ago I got sick leading to a routine of coming home from the office, eating, chatting with my family and hoping in bed.  After recognizing this new pattern of mine, Jala invited me for a girls evening out on her. Her planning it was enough to excite me alone; however, Tuesday rolled around and I just wasn’t feeling it. My hair wasn’t cute, my face was puffy and my energy was blah. Luckily, the little Taurus of mine persisted and we went out and had a blast. As much as I’d love to be challenged on my thoughts regarding so many women and our weird relationship with perfectionism, I don’t think it’s going to happen. And, unfortunately as aware as I’m of this weakness, I’m certainly still guilty. It’s like perfectionism is that one friend, who really isn’t your friend at all. She is mysterious and alluring to dream with, but in reality her intentions are never good. Maybe she’s fake because it makes her feel good about herself, or maybe she doesn’t know how to be a real friend?  Either way, intentional or not, she’s destructive.

Same holds true for perfectionism, not to mention, she doesn’t even exist. Whoa, think about that. We chase the perfect moments to do things, relationships to have, businesses to launch, vacations to take and new adventures to explore. Yet, there are always reasons as to why we have to wait for the perfect time, the perfect weather, the perfect partner, the perfect friend; but, luckily for humanity, perfection in people, places nor things exist. Why is this important to remember? Because, as “Queen Bey” herself says in her song “Pretty Hurts”, ‘Pretty hurts. Shine the light on whatever’s worse. Perfection is the disease of a nation. Pretty hurts. Shine the light on whatever’s worse. Tryna fix something, but you can’t fix what you can’t see. It’s the soul that needs the surgery.” The soul that needs surgery…

For years I sat in my cloud of perfection chasing.


I pondered, how will I find the time, how do I, and what ifs’? Until one day, my obsession with chasing perfection slapped me the face.  Sure it hurt, bad too!  Listen, I can write a book about my years chasing perfection but I’ll just say, I’d like to think of myself as rehabbing. But, as with the need to break any bad habit,  you have to constantly reinforce and reward new behaviors. And unfortunately, this last month, I found myself back sliding. I kept waiting for the perfect time to do everything; and needless to say, not a lot was done. Fast forward, and now I’m trying to play catch up, and it’s no fun. Lesson learned: perfection is the death of creativity and inspiration.  She has ‘zero’ spontaneity, no accountability and only assumes certainty. Perfection chasing  shows herself as the search for the one right and perfect answer, when in reality,  there is no one or real solution. Life isn’t a puzzle piece nor math! Arghh.

Kick Rocks Perfection.


As I whipped myself back into the ‘real world’ of making sh$t happen, I was reminded how the chase of perfection kills our dreams, and stops us from exploring projects + new ideas. She has a wicked way of convincing us it’s not the right time, or our idea isn’t perfect or ready. In reality, you are perfectly you; and your imperfections are the only things driving you to grow and evolve.  Your ideas are unique and your visions purposeful. So the next time, you succumb to the voice of the devious, and never well-meaning voice of perfection, tell her f$ck off! The economy, weather, people and thus life, will  never be perfect. You’re timing will never be right and honestly, you may always be a little wrong and politically incorrect; but- who really cares?? Umm.  Cause, what’s better than perfect is done, tried, experienced: aka mission accomplished. And, there’s no bigger confidence boaster that making sh$t happen; good, bad or indifferent. Just do it!

Courtney Rhodes

Courtney R. Rhodes is an author, brand building and marketing strategist, and speaker with a passion for style, traveling, and sharing interesting and informative content. She is founder of The Brandista Guide + www.CourtneyRRhodes.com; a volunteer for women development and empowerment initiatives and a student of the arts, humanities, and the pursuit of happiness. Courtney is a graduate of Morgan State University ('98) and The University of Baltimore M.A. ('03).

1 Comment

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    Well said! Thanks for the reminder of more doing albeit imperfectly and less chasing after something that may never come to pass.
    Glad you have someone to keep you on your toes!!❤️❤️

    May 21, 2016 at 2:10 pm Reply

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